Baby steps, driving the car

Fun in the sun at the beach!

My oldest has weekly Skype playdates with his best friend from back hom. They are the hilight of his week. As you can see, he brings his toys to the computer and is learning to make sure he is showing them to the web cam!

I have been itching for more freedom from the house, but so far my fear of driving has kept me within the bounds of where my feet can take me. But today I summoned all the courage I could muster and I DROVE the car. My husband sat next to me and helped me navigate which lane to be in and when to signal in roundabouts while I negotiated trying to find the turn signal instead of the wipers. The kids were also trying to help me out as they would shout at me every time a car came up behind us, just in case I hadn't seen it! Children are SO helpful sometime. When we arrived at our destination my husband offered some encouraging words and then the boys both hugged me and told me how proud of me they were. Very cute, very encouraging, but a tad embarassing. It will definitely take some getting used to as my right and left hands try to adjust to their new roles, and as my brain gets retrained to which ways to look for oncoming traffic. For now, I will consider myself a learner and make sure I have someone beside me who knows what they are doing. But, I have crossed that ever important fear barrier by getting into the driver's seat!

Today was a fun and full day. We had a friend stop bye for morning tea (yes, I think I've made a friend!) which was wonderful. I had a driving adventure to get to 'The Strand', which is a fabulous souped up splash pad that is better then the kids part of Bingeman's, and free! All three of the kids loved the opportunity to splash and play and our oldest ran from the time we released him from the car until we figured they'd had enough sun and he reluctantly took his final lap, ensuring he had ducked under or jumped through every stream of water.

We have also found a Friday afternoon, drop in, basketball time slot for our 8 and under, so both the boys have the opportunity to tear around the gym, practicing their dribbling, shooting and most importantly expending loads of energy. Of course, my husband and I hope all the kids will grow to love playing a little one on one, but for now, we will settle for them enjoying the court time for what it is.

Learning to need less

The three musketeers enjoying some time at the beach. The only other folks there are tourists. Though it is winter here, the water is still much warmer than I've ever experienced Lake Erie to be! The photo really has nothing to do with the post, but I know some of you are 0nly looking for pictures anyway :)

Among the many challenges of dropping everything to move to another country, was trying to figure out how to decide what things to bring with us, what things to store and then how to get rid of everything else. We found it much too costly to ship our things, and weren't sure what we would do for the 3 months they were in transit, and so I was left with the daunting task of deciding what 8 pieces of luggage I would take with me for the next few years, and how to maximize my carry ons. Some things we would have to buy, like kitchenware, appliances and basic furniture. But mostly, we are just having to learn to do with out. Obviously a large part of this is economic. The move was expensive and we are still trying to sell our house and cars back home. Another huge piece is that I am still in shock over parting with everything.

I readily confess that I have always been a pack rat. Everything is sentimental to me. Even as I sorted through clothes, mine and the kids, I could name who had given it to us or what special event we had worn it for. The blessing in this process was that I was thankful again for the gift. Some of our baby clothes had been given to my oldest and had now been worn by all three of the children. Some had been passed on by friends. This applied to toys as well. Gifts and pass ons, soaked with value because of who they came from and memories of my children playing with them at various stages. I was faced with sorting through much of my own life as well. Pieces of a story that only I could tell now. Handmade pictures and crafts by me, my friends, my campers and kids. All of incredible worth to me. But it couldn't come with me and only a fraction of it could be stored.

I prayed that anything of use would make it to people who could use it. I prayed for wisdom as I carefully selected what would come with us. I prayed for strength to let go of the props to my story, and was overwhelmed by how much I could tell you about each thing and how deeply I could feel the memories associated with the story. In the end, I relied heavily on friends and family who loved me enough to work alongside me and then finish some of the work once I was gone.

Here, with a house that has all the basics, but only the basics, I often long for pieces I no longer have. Along with triggering pangs of homesickness, I also have a growing conviction that I don't need nearly as much as I've had in the past. I have little interest in replacing most items, because I know they don't have the emotional value that 'my' stuff had. I also look at each item we consider buying now and foresee the day that parting with it will become an emotional ordeal and I know I don't have it in me to go through with it again. I have also felt convicted that I generally just need a lot less than I might like. And I have been praying that God would change my heart: to want less and learn to need less. I am praying that I don't miss this opportunity to move toward a simpler life. I am praying for new and creative ways to remember the stories that are unfolding before my eyes, that isn't dependent on 'stuff'. This is of even greater challenge when I know there is nobody here with whom we will be able to revisit these memories a few years down the road. I pray for creativity.

But I have also been reminded of how lightly Jesus asked his followers to travel. Take only your staff, no extra tunic, no extra food. Don't be weighed down by stuff or tied down by too many details, because we are on a long journey and we don't know when or where it might lead next. I had always thought that if God asked me to drop everything and follow, I would just do it. But this go around, even with two months notice, it was a lot of work (for me and others). I am in the midst of learning two big things: What it means to have a life that is ready to respond to Jesus call to follow and how to recreate a lifestyle that is dependent on much less.

PS A huge thank you to all the many people who helped in the midst of this difficult transition. Not only was I in desperate need of the practical help, your presence contributed greatly to supporting me on the most emotional journey I have taken up until this point in my life.

'This is the best day ever'

Great-Grandma gave the kids some money as a gift and we managed to find a used trampoline to spend it on. My oldest's comment as he jumped with joy 'this is the best day ever'.

My daughter has discovered the joy of Oreos. I think this is what happens when you have older siblings, you somehow manage to get treats far younger then the oldest ever would have!

Our move to Australia has held some significant challenges. Not the least of which being that it all came together VERY quickly and there are many details still being worked out back home. Many of those details being overseen by some very patient and generous family and friends. There is a great deal to be legitimately concerned about on many fronts, and yet the sentiment that has been settling in deeper and deeper each day is thankfulness. Though I continue to have a lengthy list of things I bring before the Lord, I am increasingly able to see the massive number of prayers that have already been answered.

Earlier in the week, we surprised the kids with the trampoline. We hadn't really anticipated this purchase, but Great Grandma had sent some money for the kids and was keen for it to be spent on them. Just like many parents, including our heavenly Father, we love to bless our kids. This certainly isn't limited to 'stuff', but on this occasion we set out to maximize what we could get for them. We found a trampoline on ebay and made an offer. To our surprise, and delight, it was accepted!

The best part was telling the kids we had a surprise for them, but that they had to wait. All day they guessed at what it could be. A movie? A cake? A Ben Ten action figure? I just kept smiling and saying 'Maybe'. But inside I was simply delighted that they weren't thinking big enough. And then it was here. And the squeals of delight were more significant than any words they could utter. And then there was the absolute joy of watching them on it for the first time. It was at this point that my oldest offered words that moved me deeply; 'This is the best day ever!' How long has it been since I thought something like that? Even on fantastic days, I still manage to add a 'but' to it. Not my son. Not that day. The energy of their joy was contagious! Not to mention I think they said thank you nearly a billion times. The whole of their being exuded thanks.

And then there was this moment with my daughter. She noticed the boys with a cookie and fixated on having one too. So I gave in and gave her one. And for the next half hour she nawed at it, gummed it, and covered herself (and me) in this cooking, all the while offering this huge grin. She savoured it in a way that only toddlers with few teeth can. That cookie must have tasted good for a long time, and offered her a moment of being one of the kids.

So here I am. A huge opportunity for my husband has led us far away from home, and some days I have wrestled desperately with how much I've left behind. But more and more what is settling into my heart is thankfulness. There have been moments when I would think of my friends and family and had this aching emptiness. A longing deep and desperate for those who love me, speak truth in my life, challenge me and simply know me well. But God is working on my heart. He is removing the sense of loss and replacing it with a thankfulness that floods my heart. As I remember the people far from me, I am reminded of how blessed I am to know them. I am taking the opportunity to savour memories and pray for my friends and love them from a distance. I have also been encouraged over and over again by people who have offered words of encouragement in the midst of all that is going on. And I am in awe of all that God has done and is doing. As I think of all those who are working away in ministries that I have been a part of, I am thankful for the gifts they bring and how those ministries remain organic and malleable in the hands of our ever Creating God.

My days here are much different then they were back home. The phone doesn't ring and we don't have anywhere else we need to be. It is a very unique time in our family's life and I am working to savour it. For I am fairly certain it is temporary. But for now, I will build lego and play spiderman and trust that this too is building up God's kingdom. I will savour these moments, and be thankful.

Catching a glimpse of a routine

The boys doing the dishes! And our little girl looking to tune up the engine of her new ride!

Today we took some postive steps toward homeschooling. We finally pulled together enough proof that we live here to get library cards, bought a printer and picked up some notebooks. Saturday we got a car! Yay! That's how we managed to accomplish these other steps. Our silver '95 wagon is a huge blessing. Okay, a serious step back from our reliable cars we had back home, which had actually been manufactured in this decade, but a huge blessing none the less! We will still be relying on the pedal bike or scooter for most travel, but when we are trying to get somewhere as a family, this sure helps! The kids have been dying to get to the beach and this is the other great thing we can do with the car.

So anyway, I have begun reading everything I can find on homeschooling and inviting as much input as possible from friends who are teachers. I am hoping to learn alongside the kids about the world. The current plan is to learn about a different country each week in the midst of other subjects. It was also fun to ask my oldest what he wanted to learn about, and to have him name animals, countries, things he'd like to learn how to do and even had as a learning goal to find out where the nearest place with rides was--he loves amusement parks, but I fear he will be greatly dissapointed. Since I was also interested in this question before we moved here, I have already found that it will take us about 12 hrs to get to the nearest rides. I'll make him do the research anyway, but I thought it was funny that he named that as something he wanted to learn about. It was also fun to hear his thoughts as it reminded me how broad a spectrum of things there are to learn, and at this point, since he really needs to learn to read and write, following his questions seems like a place to start--at least for the first couple of weeks until I figure out what I'm doing!

I am also looking for a job, and it is neat to realize that I wouldn't have to give up homeschooling even if I found one. Given the fact that my visa only allows me to work part time anyway, school could even work around my schedule. The other great part of this flexibility is it allows us to connect with people back home when they are available. Today my oldest was delighted to Skype with his best friend from Canada. If he were in a regular school, he wouldn't be home to have those moments. Okay, so not really a deciding factor for homeschooling, but at this point, I'm happy to start listing ALL the benefits. It helps me stay positive about it.

So, in the midst of my swhirling head and delicate emotional state, it is nice to realize that I am getting some good time with my kids and can look forward to more. Now if I can just find a little time when they are all asleep at the same time, I'll have really found a healthy routine!

Surely God is In this Place

Last June, as I was preparing for camp, I began to contemplate what it takes to raise kids to be global citizens. Much of scripture has moved me to consider, in increasing depth, who my neighbour is. As I pray that God might pour His character through me, and as I seek to share His heart, I have been challenged again by John 3:16..."For God so loved the world...". If I am seeking to share the heart of the God who made me, I reasoned that I must ask, what does it mean to love this world that He loves? I have also had the privelge of having many friends who have been wrestling with God's love for the world too. And it challenges me. It reminds me why we are called to be in community. It reminds me that at its best, members in the body of Christ will inspire each other, support each other, offer grace to each other and include each other in godly pursuits. But this isn't a reflection on community. At least, not today.





So last June, I started praying that my children would grow up having a global perspective. I am all too aware that we are all limited by our own subjectivity, our own experiences and perspective. I asked my friends Lance and Peg Wright to share some thoughts on cultivating global perspective at camp. (if you happen to be one of my friends who doesn't know Lance and Peg check out http://www.scenechange.ca/ ) It is easy to get overwhelmed when thinking about the depths of pain and suffering in our world. Lance offered a simple four steps approash: Be aware (of what's going on in the world) Care, Pray and do what you can. That sounded like a good place to start. My baby steps to loving the world more: having my oldest son sponsor a child with world vision who is the same age as he is and learn about that country, buying a world map for my kids' room, which we used as we began to pray for people around the world. God's step: through the most convoluted set of circumstances, we now LIVE in another part of the world. My little prayer, God's huge answer.





So here we are trying to make our home in Australia. It is starting slowly, but I know I will leave with a whole new perspective on the world (and at least a few people here may learn there is more to Canada than hockey). For quiet time since I've been here, I've been revisiting Genesis and reading about all the people that God uprooted and moved to new places as part of His plan. What has been sticking with me the last few days is a moment with Jacob (Genesis 28:10-22), he leaves home and reaches 'a certain place', and has a dream that God will give him the land. Okay, so I am not interested in such imperial endeavours, but what struck me were his words when he awoke "Surely the Lord is in this place, and I was not aware of it." How many places have I gone 'to a certain place' and failed to expect God to be there? Or have I expected to have to be the one to introduce God? How small do I expect God is at these moments?



So what I've been asking of the Lord, is that He would show me what He is at work doing in this new place that I've landed. Who is He seeking to woo into a relationship? Where is His reconciling love at work? And is there a place for me to be part of it? I know it takes time, but I grow restless easily. For now, I rest in the knowledge, that God is in this place too.

To the far left: Full of smiles as we move toward walking!

Top: Dad and his little girl

Next down: The boys standing in between two small palm trees they planted.

Our middle monkey showing off his garage sale find! We have been going to garage sales as far as our feet can carry us looking to replace some key items that we can't afford new, but would make life much easier. In particular some new bikes, but on this occasion, goggles were the most exciting find!

My oldest with his Grammy! We are all sad that she had to return to Canada, but enjoyed having her here to check out our new surroundings--and get us through the plane ride over! Just a reminder--WE LOVE VISITORS!

Well, our adventures continue. We still haven't been able to find a way for my oldest to attend kindergarten in a semi-affordable fashion so I have been working on collecting resources for home schooling. He is not overly excited about this plan as the part that made school bearable in the first place was the other kids. I guess I will just have to get really creative!

My youngest is crawling around the house and looking for trouble. She is less frustrated, but still moves too slowly to really keep up with her big brothers. We have also discovered that she does not have a gentle disposition. When she meets other little ones her size, she screams at them (in delight? yes, surely in delight) and then takes a swat at them. I'm fairly certain a 10 month old can't be intentionally aggressive, but we will be discouraging this behaviour none the less. (right?...okay, secretly I will just start working on a low tackling position in place of the hitting)

My husband also came home with a new toy that was gifted to us that will make life slightly easier: a '92 scooter! He has decided to refer to it as 'his hog'. Scooters are a common sight around here given they never face any snow and is moderately faster than his pedal bike. Certainly better for groceries and makes it possible for one of us to commute around town. I get a kick out of our little two stroke engine and we are delighted you can fill the tank for 4$...which will do you for quite awhile around here! I will try to get pictures of him on it soon.

The piece of settling in that has been hard on my heart is our discovery that many churches up here in North Queensland don't ordain women and many are pretty limited in what leadership roles women can take. It seems to be most common for women to accompany their husband's in whatever their ministry role is, but I'm absolutely certain that wouldn't work so well for me as I pretty much flunked out of biology in University and medical ministry is definitely not my calling. We are continuing to learn about this area, so may have just not found the more family friendly churches that also support the ministry of women, but we were quite shocked to learn that even what we would consider mainline churches in Canada don't ordain women up here. The uniting church does, though my husband hadn't been overly impressed by his innitial visit. Besides it being a challenge finding a church home, it also poses a significant challenge as I look for work in the field. I would emphasize the people are quite nice, but I'm still praying through what to do with it all.

I'm also thinking of starting a Sunday 'Theological reflections/message' post. Partially to keep me sharp, partially because I would love to hear feedback from any of you out there! So stay tuned for more cute pictures (I know that's what some of you are REALLY looking for) and some moderately deep thoughts (hey, maybe that would be a good label for them...).

Bumps Along the Way

Standing here, and certain to be walking soon!

These are pictures of our backyard. This is the best place to dry clothes outside! Good thing, given that we don't have a dryer! Apparently many people don't here. While I am still sad that I had to give up my fantastic steam washer and dryer, having a small washer means one load a day. I also have to keep those cloth diapers clean or they smell in the heat :)

We have also hit some bumps in our plans. We found out Friday that our oldest won't be able to attend the school we had been looking forward to. State schools (like our public schools) cost about 10,000$ a year for us because we aren't residents, so we had found a wonderful Christian school that had a model of teaching we really liked and would cost less than half of what a state school would have. We had moved right around the corner from this school in anticipation. While they were wonderful to us, it turns out that the student visa we are here on doesn't permit us to go to this school. We are still looking into this, but given that all offices are closed until Tuesday, we haven't been able to fully explore this. It looks like I will be homeschooling for the time being.

I think deciding on how to educate our kids is a significant challenge. I have many friends that I respect deeply who have made various choices. Homeschooling, Christian school, Montessorri, French Immersion, English Public etc. Back home we had settled on French Immersion because I hoped equipping my kids with a second language would increase their capacity to reach out to the world. I also hoped being in a public school would allow my kids to share Jesus' love with those around them who might not otherwise experience it. I also have been committed to public school because all kids could attend there, regardless of financial situation or what their parental situation was, and I wanted my kids to be part of that as long as they still had the freedom to be themselves as Christians. Now, unable to afford 'public' school, we have the opportunity to try out another approach to education. I am sad that my oldest won't be at a regular program, because he LOVED his last class and school, particularly his friends. I also thought his teacher was fantastic and appreciated getting to know the other parents. But here I am looking at homeschooling and thankful that I have a number of inspirational examples of families I know who have gone this route and honoured their children well through it.

The other interesting adventure we are having is trying to find a home church. My husband had narrowed the search already be checking out (and ruling out) a number of places. Having been on the other end of church in many ways, and being part of many discussions on how to attract people, it is a little bizarre to be on this journey. As a young family, with VERY active young boys, it isn't really surprising that our top requirement is that our kids participate happily in whatever children's program that is offered during the service. I would love the luxery of choosing a place where the theology is a good fit, or where the small groups were well developped, or the outreach most biblical. I also highly value the 'neighbourhood church' in the hopes that we could build relationships that would extend through the week. And we currently don't have a car, so walking is the only option (no public transit on Sundays). So I find myself desperately anticipating Sunday mornings where I get the only 2 hours a week where I get to meet people beyond our family. I reread the websites a million times, taking in every detail offered. I try to imagine what being part of this congregation might be like. Will the teaching be good, will the worship music be inspiring, will there be opportunity for us to be involved, is it biblical, have a healthy sense of mission, does exhibit the fruit of the Spirit. I think through all the many things that would help me decide on a good fit for a church home for us...but in the end, no other criteria matter, if my kids won't stay in the building for the morning. I can't check out anything beyond Sunday morning, if my kids don't fit in. It means, that while I LOVED the service and the people we experienced last Sunday, the fact that my kids didn't fit well, in the quiet, reflective children's ministry, means I will only get to visit the church on occasion. The truth is, with three kids, it doens't leave either of us parents in the service is our youngest 2 are restless. Last week we found a church that would also be a good fit, the . But until we have a car, it isn't a regular option. And until I have a car AND become brave enough to drive here, AND know someone we trust to leave the kids with, I won't have the option of attending any of the wonderful mid-week programs.

Funny to think of all the many details that we think through as churches when we are hospitable, and that for us now, it boils down to one thing for us now--is there a Sunday morning program that accomodates my high energy, rambunctious, almost three year old. (Without having to pull us out of the service every week.) If you can do that, you've got us; and I like to think we have a lot to offer a community too.

This whole process makes me miss Wellington Square and reminds me of all they are doing right. An incredible commitment to children's ministry and caring for young parents. Even when my kids would melt down, wonderful people would share God's love with them, pray for them, carry them and if need be, put up with a meltdown so I would get my one hour of week for just God and I. A midweek group with other moms where my kids and I were loved by some fantastic caregivers. And I got some time to be real and honest with other moms who were trying to navigate living for Jesus while taking care of little ones. Not to mention the various meetings/opportunities where child care was available by some fantastic, servant hearted youth.

Today I miss my church, I miss my friends, I miss having a place where I belong, but I am also keenly aware that I am learning a lot about what if feels like to be on the outside and hoping that in the years to come, I will be better equipped to extend hospitality.