Learning to need less

The three musketeers enjoying some time at the beach. The only other folks there are tourists. Though it is winter here, the water is still much warmer than I've ever experienced Lake Erie to be! The photo really has nothing to do with the post, but I know some of you are 0nly looking for pictures anyway :)

Among the many challenges of dropping everything to move to another country, was trying to figure out how to decide what things to bring with us, what things to store and then how to get rid of everything else. We found it much too costly to ship our things, and weren't sure what we would do for the 3 months they were in transit, and so I was left with the daunting task of deciding what 8 pieces of luggage I would take with me for the next few years, and how to maximize my carry ons. Some things we would have to buy, like kitchenware, appliances and basic furniture. But mostly, we are just having to learn to do with out. Obviously a large part of this is economic. The move was expensive and we are still trying to sell our house and cars back home. Another huge piece is that I am still in shock over parting with everything.

I readily confess that I have always been a pack rat. Everything is sentimental to me. Even as I sorted through clothes, mine and the kids, I could name who had given it to us or what special event we had worn it for. The blessing in this process was that I was thankful again for the gift. Some of our baby clothes had been given to my oldest and had now been worn by all three of the children. Some had been passed on by friends. This applied to toys as well. Gifts and pass ons, soaked with value because of who they came from and memories of my children playing with them at various stages. I was faced with sorting through much of my own life as well. Pieces of a story that only I could tell now. Handmade pictures and crafts by me, my friends, my campers and kids. All of incredible worth to me. But it couldn't come with me and only a fraction of it could be stored.

I prayed that anything of use would make it to people who could use it. I prayed for wisdom as I carefully selected what would come with us. I prayed for strength to let go of the props to my story, and was overwhelmed by how much I could tell you about each thing and how deeply I could feel the memories associated with the story. In the end, I relied heavily on friends and family who loved me enough to work alongside me and then finish some of the work once I was gone.

Here, with a house that has all the basics, but only the basics, I often long for pieces I no longer have. Along with triggering pangs of homesickness, I also have a growing conviction that I don't need nearly as much as I've had in the past. I have little interest in replacing most items, because I know they don't have the emotional value that 'my' stuff had. I also look at each item we consider buying now and foresee the day that parting with it will become an emotional ordeal and I know I don't have it in me to go through with it again. I have also felt convicted that I generally just need a lot less than I might like. And I have been praying that God would change my heart: to want less and learn to need less. I am praying that I don't miss this opportunity to move toward a simpler life. I am praying for new and creative ways to remember the stories that are unfolding before my eyes, that isn't dependent on 'stuff'. This is of even greater challenge when I know there is nobody here with whom we will be able to revisit these memories a few years down the road. I pray for creativity.

But I have also been reminded of how lightly Jesus asked his followers to travel. Take only your staff, no extra tunic, no extra food. Don't be weighed down by stuff or tied down by too many details, because we are on a long journey and we don't know when or where it might lead next. I had always thought that if God asked me to drop everything and follow, I would just do it. But this go around, even with two months notice, it was a lot of work (for me and others). I am in the midst of learning two big things: What it means to have a life that is ready to respond to Jesus call to follow and how to recreate a lifestyle that is dependent on much less.

PS A huge thank you to all the many people who helped in the midst of this difficult transition. Not only was I in desperate need of the practical help, your presence contributed greatly to supporting me on the most emotional journey I have taken up until this point in my life.